Can I…?

Yesterday I heard myself asking Dave, “Can I…” and suddenly I heard my father’s voice.

My father was a man of precision.

According to him, “Can I…” was asking about ability.

And “May I…” was asking for permission.

So when I tried to use “Can I…” to ask permission, Dad would respond, “I don’t know; can you?”



Clear communication

If I say to Dave, “Will you put a new box of tissues in the kitchen, please?”

He will inevitably say, “What?”

So, I tried something new yesterday.

I pointed at the bathroom where we keep extra tissues and said, “Kleenex.”

Then I pointed to the kitchen and said, “Kitchen.”

And he promptly delivered a new box of tissues to the kitchen.

I wonder if I had added the word, “Please,” if that would have been too many words.

And he would have replied, “What?”



Fight or Flight

You all know that the only responses to threat are fight or flight, right?


We think we learned these two responses from animals.

But they have others.

Have you ever seen a scared rabbit? They freeze in the hope that they will blend in so well the predator will not see them.

Have you ever been a dog roll over and present its belly to a threat? They submit so as to not look threatening in return which would escalate the threat.

So, in reality, the choices are fight, flight, freeze, or submit.

I tend to submit.

Which is why my last surgery included a procedure I did not want and wish I had not submitted to. Would you fight a person about to cut you open?



Memory Decluttering

No I’m not suggesting you need to clean out your mind. You might need to do that sometime but that’s not today’s topic. Today’s topic is a method for downsizing physical things.

It’s simply this:

Decide on one area you want to clean out. It might be your clothes closet or a specific kitchen cupboard or some place else.

Walk away from that space.

Now make a list of everything you remember having in that space.

Since you didn’t remember some things, those are, obviously, things you don’t regularly use. Get rid of them.