Mall of America

I try to post something every week so you’ll know I’m still alive and kicking but some weeks I just don’t have anything ready to talk about. So, today I’m posting an article I did for a writing class many years ago that I never published. I hope you enjoy it.

Playing Now at the Mall of America

By Linda Sand

The Mall of America, just across the freeway from the Minneapolis/Saint Paul airport, promises, “There is a place for fun in your life!” Did they have me in mind? I doubt it. Sure, sometimes I shop there; they have lots of great stores. Sometimes I go for “normal” entertainment–dinner, a movie, or an evening at one of the clubs.

But, sometimes I go just to play! In unlikely playgrounds. Come, let me teach you how to play at the Mall of America.

Electric Treasure Hunt

Electric cars at amusement parks and on golf courses are fun to drive. They’re fun at the mall, too. Information Desk clerks rent “electric convenience vehicles” to anyone who can provide photo ID and a major credit card. Let the fun begin the minute you enter the mall!

You’ll need a road map. The Mall of America is such a dynamic place even the stores move around. You never know where you’ll find a jewel. Pick up a map at the Information Desk to help you plan your hunt.

Learning the Game

Entering a store for the first time with play on your mind can be a little scary so let’s start with an easy place. Barebones, an educational store, is full of puzzle games, Magnetic Poetry ™, yo-yos, and balls shaped like eyeballs and other organs, etc. This store encourages play. Clerks sometimes toss toys to customers. Or juggle blocks as they answer your questions. Practice picking up toys and playing with them. If that’s still too hard, pick up a book and thumb through it first.

Fun with Electricity

Another easy place to start your play is Sharper Image, a mostly electronics store. The clerks here are likely to be playing, too. They may be shooting baskets or playing air hockey or a computer game. They won’t chase you out for trying the demonstration games, though they do require people under 16 be accompanied by a parent.

My husband and I, playing at Sharper Image with a pocket computer, found it great fun to impress the staff with our knowledge of bits and bytes. We heard one clerk warn another not to offer to help us. “They know more than we do,” she warned. That meant we got to play longer.

Brookstone has electronic toys too. Also, pocket tools to do just about anything. And all the camping and travel gadgets ever invented, I think. You can listen to a talking globe or take a break in a hammock. Clerks will demonstrate how to use their chair and foot massagers, which will feel wonderful after you have been at the mall awhile.

Building Confidence

At the LEGO Imagination Center, play with the blocks. Pretend you are related to one of the kids there if you need help settling in. Admire the child’s construction while idly fiddling with blocks until you get up enough courage to build something of your own. Be sure to notice if the child leaves. If you aren’t ready to leave yet call out, “See you later,” or “I’ll wait here.”

Memories

Displays at A Simpler Time are likely to bring back your childhood. Their household decor items offer smiles of memories. Norman Rockwell pictures and sculptures. Replicas of old toys and household goods. And pictures with ghost figures where the artist shows what it’s like to be an adult remembering childhood.. When my daughter and I left this store we sat on a bench sharing memories awhile.

The Old Farmer’s Almanac store is another trip down memory lane, even if your memory doesn’t go back very far. Everyone remembers penny candy, though, don’t they?

Lake Wobegon is another good place to remember the past as well as laugh at the present. This store has the best T-shirts! You can buy a man’s extra-large that says, “Still plays with cars.” The clerk giggled while telling me which T-shirt is her favorite. She also said a lot of people come in, chuckle over stuff, then leave. I bet a lot of them come back and buy, though.

Learningsmith has lots of toys set out on play tables: a wood doll house and furniture, Brio ™ trains, rhythm band instruments, and peg games made using golf tees. They also have computers on which you can explore the newest games. A clerk is likely to ask what age you are shopping for, so be prepared to say, “All ages,” if you want to explore everything.

Art Galleries

Okay, so the clerks call them are art “stores”. That doesn’t mean we can’t just go in and admire the paintings and sculptures. I especially enjoy Celebrate! which specializes in African American art. I enjoyed the sculpture of a mother claiming gum from a child in church and the one of a father lying on the floor while his toddler climbed all over him.

Libraries

Many stores offer reading rooms. They don’t call them that, though. Still, read everything—T-shirts, greeting cards, posters, magnets, etc. Be sure to choose a diploma from the diploma mill at the Fun Shop.

Playing Everywhere

Once started, you’ll find imaginative ways to play in almost any store.

Stuck at LensCrafters while your spouse has glasses fitted? Try on various frames and ask yourself who you look like or what you might become if your wore them.

Bored while your sister shops at Linens and Things? Imagine how you would decorate the perfect house if money was unlimited.

Someone pull you into a Hallmark store? Read the funny cards. Look at what people are willing to buy for others. Think about what you buy and what that says about you.

Find yourself at Suncoast Motion Picture Co.? Look for old movies and remember when you first saw them—who you were with, what you did, what you wish had happened.

If you wander into Tee Rex, enjoy reading the T-shirts but try not to shake your head too much at what people are willing to announce to the world.

In The Great Train Store think about a train under a Christmas tree, then think about great holidays you’ve had.

Once started, you’ll find a way to play wherever you are.

Hungry?

You’ve many choice of where to play with your food.

If you go to one of the food courts notice the variety of food available. Ponder whether certain types of people eat only certain types of food. Notice what types attract you. See how many types you can get for how little money. For instance, at Panda Express order half rice and half noodles before you even get to the entrees.

Enjoy people watching. Sit near an aisle and watch groups move toward you. Guess if they are together or not. Sometimes clothing is a clue, but you can get fooled by two groups intermingled by the crowd. Guess where they are from. If they are speaking a foreign language as they pass, they probably are not Minnesota natives though they might be residents. Men wearing sport coats with jeans are not Minnesotans.

If you prefer someone else to fetch your food, consider going to Odyssey. Walk down the hallway looking through the binoculars and windows to pick the area where you’d like to sit. If there is a waiting list, go into the gift shop and dig through coins of the world, play with nature-oriented toys, admire third world art, or listen to Celtic music.

Or go to one of the other entertainment oriented restaurants like Planet Hollywood where you might see a movie star or Rain Forest Café where you can admire live parrots and waterfalls.

Exiting Gracefully

Reassure any nervous sales clerks by talking to yourself. For instance, in science stores mumble about the educational value of toys. Or name people you think would like an item.

The first time a clerk offers help, smile and respond with the standard, “Just looking.” If one approaches a second time, it may be time to leave that store for another one. If you can’t bring yourself to leave yet, be prepared to buy something in exchange for all the fun the store provided. After all, this kind of fun in your life is worth the expense.

TTYL,

Linda