Our daughter pointed out to me yesterday that I never told you all I am back home. Been home a month already so sorry about not updating. I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to live healthfully here. Only semi-successful at that so far having tried and demolished several theories. I get bored so easily with any routine. I need a lot of variety. And I still don’t like cooking. Anyone out there want to tell me how I can eat healthfully without cooking? 🙂
TTYL,
Linda
Sometimes when I refer to the monster in my head I mean that misshapen being who misinterpreted so many things over the years which now tells me a lot of wrong messages based on those misinterpretations. I am working hard here to clear up some of those misconceptions–like food is my friend who entertains me or comforts me.
But the main monster that is giving me trouble right now is the one in charge of the mucus production facility in my head. It has gone bonkers and is way overproducing. I am constantly sneezing and my nose is running and I am not fit to be seen in public.
This monster went into overproduction last Saturday and I have been holed up in my apartment here ever since refusing to share this monster with the staff and other participants here. Selfish of me, I know, but I’m trying hard not to share this one.
The only people I see are the ones who deliver my food and medicines to me.
For almost a week now.
Most head colds last 7-10 days so I’m hoping my confinement will end this weekend.
In the meantime I have been sorting through the handouts from all the classes I’ve attended. I’ve been rereading many and doing unfinished homework from others and trying hard to teach my brain all the new things I’ve been learning here.
So it has actually not been a bad things to be confined to quarters.
But, I am ready for this monster and others to move on now.
TTYL,
Linda
We had heavy, wet snow here in Durham, NC, last night.
The power is out.
Which means the phone system here is also out. I can’t call up to the main building to see if they have the little comforts like heat, a working kitchen, etc.
One of the things people with eating disorders do is stay home and isolate.
We have a different type of isolating going on here today.
They have shoveled the path to my apartment but it is not clear all the way to the curb and they haven’t shoveled the cross path on my side of the street.
So, if I go out I need to walk through wet snow that is several inches deep to get to the cleared sidewalk on the other side of the street.
Thus, I was pleased to see someone coming up my path this morning.
It turns out many of the staff stayed here last night so they wouldn’t have to figure out how to get in to work this morning. Durham doesn’t often have this type of weather so they don’t have the snow removal systems we have in Minnesota. Here everything just pretty much shuts down.
Now the staff are going door to door assuring people that the kitchen has a gas stove so they are making limited breakfast items. And we can have it delivered.
So I am staying home this morning where I can wear lots of layers without caring who sees me.
And breakfast is coming to me.
And I have a cell phone number I can call if I truly need something.
Hopefully the rest of the paths will be cleared by noon and I can go up for lunch.
I hope.
TTYL,
Linda
My van is sold and on its way to its new home in California. I am pleased with the buyer. I think she is going to enjoy it as much as I did. If you see her out there, please, welcome Joanna, a part-timer for now, to the community.
TTYL,
Linda
I usually get up between 7 and 8 A.M. I head right to the bathroom where I use my phone to check the weather and play solitaire until my digestive system wakes up enough to get rid of whatever excess weight it is willing to release.
Then I wash and dress and hike up the hill to the main building. Most of you would probably not even realize it is up hill and you certainly would not call it a hike but for me it is both.
The first order of the day there is to weigh myself on their computerized scale. Yes, we weigh daily here. They want us to learn that the number on the scale is just a number so we can stop basing our feelings on that number. We chart those numbers on a graph in our daily journal. I don’t do the math to see how much weight I have lost. As long as the general direction of the line on my graph is downward that’s all I need to know. Yes, I once posted here about how much weight I had lost so far but that’s because the nurse told me when I went in for a blood pressure check. (They reduced my meds twice based on those readings and I’m still getting lower readings than I ever remember getting.)
Next I go into the huge dining room where I order my breakfast from my preplanned menu and socialize while I eat.
After breakfast it is time for classes. Some of those are to exercise my body and some are to exercise my mind. In both types, I learn a lot! The ones for the mind mostly teach me why I eat when I am not hungry and how to figure out what I can do about those “whys” other than eat. I also learn a lot of tools to help me live in a healthier way.
Then comes lunch. Once again I order from my preplanned menu and socialize.
Then it’s off to more classes. Some of the classes are rotational, meaning the lecture is one of a series that repeats so you can go to what appears to be the same class but hear something new. Some don’t repeat but you can go again and still hear something new you, perhaps, weren’t ready to hear the first time you went. One of the instructors mentioned we only retain 10% of what we hear so I said she could expect to see me in her classes ten times. Most of the classes have power point presentations so you get visual reinforcement of what you hear. Most classes also have handouts so you can review what you heard. Some have mental/written exercises we do in class. Some have homework. I’ve now been to enough classes that I’m no longer repeating all of them. Instead I spend that time doing homework. Or taking a nap because I wore out my brain.
Then comes dinner.
Most days after dinner I climb on the NuStep machine for one last workout of the day. The NuStep is what I consider to be a recumbent stair-stepper. I record my steps on it to add to the ones my pedometer says I took during the day.
Occasionally instead of doing the NuStep, I climb onto Structure House’s shuttle bus to make the run over to Target to buy whatever I found a need for–like detergent so I can do laundry in my apartment. At different times during the week that bus takes people to three different shopping areas, movie theaters, group hikes, experimental restaurant outings, grocery store learning trips, and sometimes explorations of museums or the zoo.
Finally I return to my apartment where I spend the rest of the evening entering upcoming food plans and activity schedule for the next day into my journal. I also spend some time replaying my day. Then I am free to do computer stuff until 10 P.M. When I collape into bed.
People who need less sleep then I do sometimes watch TV but I don’t feel I have time to do that here. I do read for fun but it sure takes me a lot longer to finish a book here than it does at home. And I do hang around with other participants and just chat. I have agreed to teach a couple of them how to crochet the string bags I have been making off and on since the 1970s.
Plus, there are fewer scheduled activities on the weekend. Which is when I make my plans for foods I will eat and activities I will do in the coming week. Then I get to do other things–like write this blog.
It’s s a busy life here. Which helps me keep from eating at odd times. Although I do order two teaspoons of almonds at dinner to take back to my room with me to eat as a snack. Following the guidelines here I eat them about 8 P.M. while sitting at the table in my apartment. I know I am going to want a snack at home when Dave and I sit down to watch a movie in the evening so I am trying to teach myself that two teaspoons of slivered almonds is enough.
And I’m already working on meal plans for home and thinking about what activities I will do there. After all, going back to what I used to do will just get me back to where I used to be. If I want to be a new me I need to do some new things. That desire for improved health is what keeps me going.
TTYL,
Linda
